Jean Russell

I met back up with Manar for a midday adventure. After considering ice skating, we decided to view Shoot: Existential Photography at the Photographer’s Gallery. (For those of you who don’t know my past lives, from 1996 to 1999, I worked at University Galleries. I curated a show called Text and Territory: Navigating Immigration and Dislocation which include works by David Wojnarowicz and Julie Mehretu among others. My best friend runs Art2Art which curates traveling photography exhibitions for museums.)

Manar and I walked from Covent Garden to Oxford Circus area. On the walk, we found a neon store! I particularly loved this angel on air.

We also came across this odd sign about William Blake. I had no idea he was born the day before me (okay, 200 years before also).

Oddly we came upon a gallery that I recognized. Why? Because Bill and I had walked past it on the evening of the 27th. And looking in the window at the cafe, Bill had remarked that he knew the gallery had moved and now he had discovered where it had moved to! And here we were! Yeah! Adventure on!

So, Shoot: Existential Photography, showed photos of people shooting themselves. There are shooting galleries where you shoot a target, which triggers a camera to take a picture of you shooting. One woman had taken pictures of herself over a 70 year period. You could see the evolution of her life and of photography (as film quality changed). There is something pretty disturbing about many of the images – the idea of shooting a photo and shooting yourself with a gun merged.

Simone de Beauvoir, Jean-Paul Sartre Photo-shot, fairground at Porte d’Orléans, 1929

There was also a video room with a remix of hollywood film shots of people shooting. The soundtrack to that was pretty danceable. I tried to stand a bit in the corner so I could de-focus my eyes and see all four screens at once. Again, this was very disturbing. Throughout the show I had the sense that I had never before and hopefully never again have so many guns aimed at me.

I know it sounds a bit odd to want to see such things, but as I wrote yesterday, our relationship with self and death is important to being present to living and aliveness. We must not, I believe, hide from our own mortality. We can embrace it.

On our walk, we started talking about the new series I want to launch on the agency: Play Your Way. And this quickly segued into a discussion on gaming. From there, we talked about Jane McGonigal. She had developed a game when she suffered a concussion (see her ignite talk on it). She did research, around this time, on post-traumatic growth: those ways we grow after a near death experience. I had never heard of post-traumatic growth, so I was eager to hear more! Turns out, I understood more than I expected. This is the awakening or aha process that I had worked on in my early years in philanthropy. When people wake up to their mortality, and realize they have enough for themselves, they become more philanthropic. We had wondered in 2004-2005, how to trigger that without having to have the jarring experience of near-death trauma. Well, in post-traumatic growth, people also focus more on experiencing versus having, high quality connections, etc. Do we have to come close to our own death to realize this and align our lives? I don’t think so, I think we can walk towards it through awareness. And this is a good part of why I went to Death: A Self Portrait and Shoot.

What is it to fully experience living in the face of our own mortality? What must we do today to avoid the regrets of our deathbed? What do I need to complete now in order to be more fully present to my livingness? How do I step into my 40s with deep clarity of my purpose, connection, meaning, and live a life of thriving?

Whew, a lot to reflect on. Deep breath. After the exhibit, we went for a quick lunch and chat. I had a Lord Byron burger. Mmmm.

Playing with light.

In the evening, I met with Benjamin Ellis and then later Cassie Robinson joined us. I met Benjamin at sxsw in 2010 through Arie Moyal. When I talk with Benjamin, as with many of my most brilliant friends, I have these huge mindgasms. I think we went from 0 to 60 in 15 seconds.

Since 2005, I have wanted software that does data visualizations of social network maps with venn diagrams. Benjamin explained why these maps are not made currently, and we worked on how we could actually make them and what they would be useful for. We talked a bit about what I have called relationship physics, where you can see social network maps change over time as a group converges or boundary spanners explore and connect. I have some rough maps of these which I should post about soon.Then I asked if you could make those maps move through time. He clarified that often people will change how they gather data, so when you get jumps in the maps you would have to be sure that it was because the reality changed and not the data sourcing.

Then I asked if you could have yet one more layer – looking at how they are working on purpose. Think of a social network map…and then you start to zoom out and see the venn diagram of groups within the network held together by a seemingly invisible gravitational core (and idea or purpose), then put the map in motion and see if that gravitational core can be mapped as actions are taken. I am thinking a mashup of SNA with gapminder… what people and groups are working or have worked on millennium development goals and what has that achieved? Benjamin made clear why this would be difficult if not impossible and perhaps evening meaningless to do.

It is as if I am trying to make two slices of the world condense into one and the ability to gather the right data would be next to impossible. 7 years of trying to imagine this, and in one evening, I am making huge leaps in understanding what can and can’t work in very practical ways from a guy who is doing visualization and data collection. Mindgasm.

Organizational Topography

Then Cassie  joined us, and Benjamin and I tag teamed on catching her up on what we had discussed pulling out page after page of hand-sketched pictures. We discussed the Action Spectrum and how it relates to these maps and venn diagrams with the multi-membrane organization model. And we talked about the corporate shift from hierarchy to network and the need for a more useful model for decision making than flat networks. I drew a 2D version of the network topography that has been in my head since 2009.Imagine taking a tiers of a hierarchy map and making each tier one bar height of power or influence. Each node in the network doesn’t have a static bar height the way old hierarchies seemed to. By project or even phase of project that bar height can change. Then imagine that proximity of connection is not by department but by social interaction count, so you are placed closest to those that you interact with most, the way you are in a social network map. We talked about some of the myths of flatness in open source that misled a lot of corporations into flattening their structures without being mindful of decision making compromises.

outside Royal Festival Hall

We also talked about organizational structures not fitting the organizational models that we feel drawn to. I am curious to see how we will change these structures legally to better fit the relationships and accountability we want to have.

After Cassie and I left Benamin outside the Royal Festival Hall, Cassie and I went for sushi, caught up as friends and called it a night. I am so lucky to have met Cassie. She amazes me with the quiet work she does in the world. Grounded, network weaving, transformative, and heartfelt. Thank you Cassie.

Thank you!!! So grateful for the amazing day!

After a liesurely morning of work, I set off to Brixton to meet Mamading Cessay and Sofia Bustamante of London Creative Labs. I first saw Mamading’s name when he was poking around wagn many years ago. Then I started following him on twitter. And about 2 years ago I met him in person. We share the venn intersections of alternative currency+social entrepreneurship+collaborative software.

I am standing outside the Brixton tube stop. There is an amazing amount of foot traffic. All sorts of people from all sorts of backgrounds walking in or past me. Swirls of color and style. Mamading and Sofia walk up to me with smiles blazing. We walk past Electric Avenue, where I notice all the street stalls selling a range of goods. Sophia gives me the history – first street electrified. Has been a high end neighborhood and also full of brothels. Seems an area with a history of extremes. She remarks that this is one of the highest foot trafficked areas in the city – it is a crossroads.

We wander a few blocks away to a cafe. I am eager to hear what London Creative Labs is doing. Last I had spoken with them, they were running these amazing skill camps. I think of Mamding’s work as post-all-the-things-I-don’t-think-work for community transformation. So I am super excited about what he and his collaborators are cooking up now! We sit down and talk quietly. Many of the people in the cafe are actively working on a project of London Creative Labs: career coach training and apprenticeship. Sophia leads me through parts of a slide deck so I have a visual reference. I ask a lot of questions like,”if you say this is a mashup like Grameen, how are you using peer accountability to ensure success for everyone?” And we talk about some financing models that might help this work scale from reaching hundreds to reaching thousands.

Mamading ans Sophia aren’t new to the work or overly idealistic. They are grounded in a very sincere, prudent, and persistent approach. Their social designs have cascading wins. They have even though through how their work can reduce government costs and increases tax base. I had sent Christelle, my writing partner, in their direction last year, and so they already knew her “risk mitigation” approach to social change. I took it a bit further, giving them a preview of the Action Spectrum work that may apply to what they are growing.

After an hour of jamming on London Creative Labs, we spoke of broader things. Again, I keep asking questions about narrative in culture and how it is constraining the possibility space. I mention the woman from the plane – and the demonization of the working class (aka poor) and the glorification of university and white collar jobs and lifestyle. We riff on it a bit. I am not sure how we came to it, but I am sure that we need a story to be told in our culture of how the working class has always been and continues to be the backbone of our economy, both as producers and as consumers.  People I know who really value a hard days work usually come from a working class background or at least had stints of physical labor. What if we had a series of stories on tv or radio, “An honest day’s work” or something? Tell the story of where someone’s work ethic comes from? Bring pride to the work of the invisible backbone of our world – whether those are front line service professionals, plumbers, janitors, or others of the working class, we need to tell their story with pride.

Tingling with the sense of possibility about whispering that story into the right ear in a way that might allow a transformation in culture and sense of self for so many, I was giddy on my way to meet Manar. We spoke on it further. Somewhere along the line we collapsed the distinction between the working class and the poor. Maybe we painted them as uncouth or lazy, uneducated or even stupid, and willfully dependent on our systems. The political framing is about getting the working class/poor off of social services because they just grow dependent on social welfare. This is the equivalent of saying I met one alien, and he tried to eat me, so all aliens must try to eat humans.  A few bad actors does not make an entire class bad. Another solution to the drain on social resources might be to acknowledge that the current design of our system prevents far too many people from achieving even a base level of human well being. And when the extreme gaps between rich and poor appear, we are ALL suffering for it. (See Geoffrey West on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyCY6mjWOPc

I wonder what to do next with this insight?

Manar and I concluded the evening with delicious Indian food, delightful conversation, and then some incredibly phenomenal italian ice cream. YUM!

How does this even happen? Some part of me is always so surprised and amazed at the experiences I have…

United was unusually delayed… first the plane was late arriving, then when we arrived in Chicago, they didn’t have a gate for us. The anxiety level in the plane kept increasing. Finally, half of us who were late had to wait in the gateway for our bags that were gate checked. I barely made it on the plane to London in time. This is shocking since I should have had like 90 minutes between flights. So I slid into my seat, forced to gate check my bag since all the space was taken by fliers who arrived on time. This made me furious. Especially when my seatmate pointed out a place to store my coat and hat (and would have fit my luggage). So I started the flight with some anger at United.

Which opened up a conversation with the woman sitting next to me. Turns out she was flying back to the UK after visting a death row inmate in Florida. While waiting for dinner, we talked about inequality, the prison system, social justice issues, racism, but also thrivability, narrative and story telling and the art of transformation and forgiveness. She was reading a book about Inequality and spoke about how the working class has been demonized as a way to justify the wealthy serving their own interests.

We talked about turning 40 (she was past her 40s). Rites of passage for daughters. And her work with the disabled in the UK as a social worker. Fascinating. I especially enjoyed hearing her journey into the work with the death row inmate. There is something about that experience of decades in prison that can sometimes act as a long term spiritual retreat. So much silence and contemplation.

It is so wonderful to have open conversations about racism. There is something that breaks down the shame of racism when we stop trying to make it invisible.

Once in Heathrow, I easily slipped down into the tube and took the hour long ride on the Picadilly line to pick up the keys to Manar’s place. I had a 6 hour layover at his place before getting into the airbnb place in Elephant and Castle area. It was 7 in the morning at home, so I took a nap.

I saw this lovely poster on the Tube. Look at the eyes.

Look closely at the Death Portrait. A lovely play on positive and negative space. Do you see the skull or the kiss? Go beyond the expected narratives and see opportunity.

After picking up the keys to my home for the next 5 days, I headed to Oxford Circus tube stop. As I entered the tube, I hear that the train is not stopping at Oxford Circus. Urgh. I quickly look at the tube map to try to redirect my path. Someone walks by, sees me struggling over the map and offers to help. He says that stop will probably be open once I get there, or get off one stop earlier and walk. Okay, whew. Thank you!

Indeed. It does stop at Oxford Circus, where I get confused about which way is up down north or south. The tube does that to me with the stairs circling back and forth. But a haf block down, I realize I am going in the wrong direction and head back up Regent Street. But 4 blocks up, I still don’t see the BBC. I am meeting Bill Thompson, a technology writer for the BBC. I ask at a hotel front desk, and he says, go around the next corner, you are there.

I met Bill at a dinner party at Bletchley Park last time I was in the UK. We kept in touch over twitter and email… So I looked him up when I came back to town and we agreed to meet again for more philosophizing. This is how strangers become friends.

I find Bill sitting in a beautiful courtyard in front of the BBC head down, staring at his phone. After greeting each other, I tell him I am up for an adventure. He offers a place that has closed but had great space, so maybe there is a new place open there now. Sounds adventurous. Let’s try it. We walk. It wasn’t open. Aha, now we are really having an adventure – we have to be thwarted in some way to count it as adventure. 🙂 On the way we pass a gallery, and this is a bonus because he knew it had moved and wondered where. Now we know! Discovery!

Bill was explaining that the BBC is in the midst of a massive change, having changed upper management after 56 days amid a scandal. “Never waste a good crisis,” he says. I admire that so much. In these moments of crisis, there is such an opportunity to shift things. In part because the usual order of things is unstable, so people don’t say no to things they might have before. Leaps can be made. They are opportunities for being bold.

We kept walking in search of a place to go. There was construction that kept redirecting our path. Thwarted again! And at the same time we were discussing this way that culture has narrative that narrows our options… as this construction was narrowing our options. We finally stumble upon his second choice, Toucan… a tiny bar where we sit in the basement. We talk about time travel, physics, and cultural stories/myths of being. I share the Action Spectrum as a framework for helping people understand the spectrum between causality and control to nurturing and probability.

He explained how we still operate so much from older paradigms of physics, and that recent discoveries are making it clear how things at a scale we couldn’t access before don’t work the way we thought that they did. And the creation of a new paradigm of physics might lead to faster than light travel. Which is time travel.

After our pint (I had Guinness), we started looking for a place to eat. We came across a Brazilian place. Yum. We closed with a lovely debate about the qualities of Silicon Valley that make it so successful and whether London, Chicago, or NYC can replicate those conditions. Cultural identity. Again, what is the narrative of a place, and what does that make possible or restrict?

I love discovering and exploring the wondrous minds of people I meet. I love seeing the world through their perspective. Bill has a phenomenal mind. It was a great adventure.

Thank you Bill.

Drinking absinthe in Budapest

In 2006, when I left my marriage, I booked a trip to Budapest. I had never been outside North America, although I had been to almost every state. I had wanted to go to Europe since I was a child. Every continent, really. I had planned, at 13, to go to one continent per decade, Europe first. So at 34, I was finally doing it. I went to a country where I didn’t speak the language. I didn’t know how to go through customs even. I made a reservation to rent an apartment for the week (pre airbnb). I got lost on my first walk and nearly cried with anxiety. But I took a deep breath and found my way again, thanks to a beautiful Jewish memorial.

Drinking absinthe at a grimy bar (the perfect European intellectual spot in my mind), I met some Israeli guys. The next day one of them drove me all over the city on a personal tour. I thought, my mother would totally freak if she knew I was in a car with a strange man in a foreign country like this. On the other hand, what turns a stranger into a friend?

Since 2006, I have been to: Sweden, The Netherlands, Belgium, France, Germany, England, Ireland, and also Australia! That makes 2 continents in 6 years. Yeah!

Now, here, in London, I easily hop on the tube, navigate the city maps, and use pounds instead of dollars. When you come from a small town in the middle of the midwest, these things can be overwhelming. What works for me is diving straight in, head first. People are kind. They help you figure out your train or bus stop (and remind you when to get off), they translate for you, and in general want you to have a terrific experience. Where I have visited, anyway. The universe carries me along. If you trust it, maybe it will carry you along too.

I jump head first now into my 40s and this trip is my ceremony to mark the transition. Thank you to everyone participating and supporting. And thank you to the strangers that becomes friends along the way.

I have a birthday request.

I would really love it if my friends wrote something briefly about:

• what the connection has given them
• a meaningful memory of our time together
• or what I mean to them.

Would you be up for giving that to me and to us?

much much gratitude.

Here is what Irma submitted. Thank you Irma!

Photo and Image modification by Irma Wilson.

My first birthday present to myself is going to NYC.

I love birthday presents. My family does a few small things just to have paper to unwrap and share a moment. Usually it is a favorite candy, coffee, game or something. My Mom gives me something nice, usually clothes. I don’t do gift swapping with friends. But I love gifts, so I give myself gifts for my birthday. Ones I really want. I save up the wanting all year and then treat myself!

I am working on a new habit: being my own best friend. It involves talking outloud to myself in front of a mirror. Good thing you aren’t watching it, or I would feel even more crazy doing it. But as part of best-friending myself, we are going to do this turning 40 thing right. I have a lot to grieve in letting go of the past 39 years, and that needs an acknowledgement process and ceremony. And I have so much to celebrate (and much of the celebration is about how much I value the people in my life).

So we start with a visit to some of those people that bless my life. And create play, wonder, and giggles too.

It begins with hanging out with the ever delightful Deanna Zandt at the Brokyln Home for Wayward Grrls. One my best playmates ever, Steve Crandall is coming into town. I am sure he plans to provoke Grant into some mischief or another. Grant invited us to meet him at the Harvard Club, but we couldn’t wear jeans there. Steve always and only wears jeans and tshirts. Usually from threadless and quite nerdy. Which is totally appropriate to Steve. As long as we do something ridiculous, I don’t mind where we go. Maybe I should wear 3/4 length evening gloves? Or maybe we will go climb trees in Central Park instead. Maybe Grant doesn’t know what he is getting himself into… ice cream might be involved.

I also intend/hope/wish to play with Hava Gurevich, Charles Hope, Gerard Senehi, Amy Sample Ward, Bice Wilson, Peter Asaro, and we will see who else! Because in the magical life I crafted for myself, the perfect trip includes creative amazing witty fun people whether they are technologists, scientists, performers, architects, academics, artists, change agents, or just downright tricksters of their own making.